Hit & Run
Yesterday, en route to the city, a truck in the right lane decided to move into the left lane, despite the fact that my car was there, and that the lanes were separated by a solid white line (which, to my surprise, I discovered is apparently not prohibited, but rather discouraged, according to The Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices*). Given the fact that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place (literally - cement wall on left, truck on right), with cars behind me, all I could do was flash my lights and honk my horn, as he proceeded to remove my mirror:

As he made no indication he was planning to stop, I pulled up alongside him in order to get his attention, and maybe convince him otherwise (it also enabled us to copy down his license plate). He ignored my intense honking, and I gave up, pulling to the side of the road and calling 911 on the cell phone we keep in the car for emergencies. (More on that, later.)
We're all fine, though we did have to wait for over an hour for the police to report to the scene. During the waiting time, we called 3 times. The first to report the incident. The second, to report the incident, and find out how much longer than 1/2 an hour we'd have to wait. The third, to find out how much longer than an hour we'd have to wait. At no time were we given any indication as to how long we'd have to wait other than "someone will respond as soon as possible." Yeah, right! If a Dunkin' Donuts truck overturned, I'd bet there'd be cops swarming all over the place. And if I had parked at an expired meter, or at 8:31 on the wrong side during alternate side parking, they'd be there in an instant! Nevermind the fact that that two police cars passed us without stopping. Had they had their lights on, indicating they were responding to an emergency rather than cruising around looking for donuts, I might not be so angry, but they weren't. And if they claim they were headed to another emergency, despite not having their lights on, shame on them. In that case they should have had their lights on (rather than just using them when they get bored waiting at red lights, or when they want to make illegal U-turns).
During my conversation with the third dispatcher, she told me that she couldn't give me an estimate because she wasn't the one responding. She then said, "please hold for a recording," and after a long pause, a very poor quality recording informed me that my call had been received and they would respond as soon as possible, but they were responding to a lot of incidents.
When they finally showed up, they never once got out of the car. Their Dunkin' Donuts paper goods littered the car. They took a long time filling out the incident report. When they finished, they gave me a "Incident Information Slip" with a phone number to call the next day (today).
When I called, I got no answer. So I tried the other two lines listed on the paper. Still no answer. I tried later. No answer. I then realized a Dunkin' Donuts truck must have overturned. I waited a while, then called again. No answer. I googled for the 109th precinct. I found a list of phone numbers. I started at the top, and worked my way down. No answer. Voice-mail. No answer. No answer. Answer! "Sorry, but you've called the wrong desk, let me transfer you." No answer. So I called back, "Me again! There was no answer at that extension." "I'll transfer you to another number." Answer! Wrong person again, transferred. Answer! I gave the "cop" my info, only to find out that the police report wasn't ready yet. "Call back later, she told me." I asked what her specific extension was, and she told me the original number I had called on. I then asked if she had been away from her desk ... why she hadn't answered my 15 prior calls. "I was on the phone. I'm only one person. Call Mr. Bloomberg to complain." "Have you heard of voice-mail?" I asked. "Heck, we can leave Bloomberg out of this - I'll buy you an answering machine myself!" "No, we have specific protocols to follow. You can't just go out and buy an answering machine." Right, they have to find a way to spend way too much money on one.
When I tried back later in the afternoon, I got to listen to the phone ring, a lot. I'd imagine there's a phone in the police department ringing, and I can't imagine how they tolerate it ringing that much. If I were in the office there, I'd pick it up, even if I were in handcuffs, if only to stop the ringing! Then again, maybe there's a huge sale at Dunkin' Donuts.
I called the main number precinct number, after failing numerous times using the numbers listed on the incident information slip. I was transferred before I had a chance to finish my sentence. No answer. I called the main number back, got a different person, and started my sentence with, "Before you transfer me, please let me finish my sentence." She did, and when I explained the problem of no one picking up, she said, "Oh, I can get the Accident Report Number for you." Great! She did, then I asked for the Complaint Report Number, and she said something about going to another room to look it up. While I was on hold, another guy picked up, I explained what was going on, and he started to tell me that I had to call a different number [the one where no one was picking up]. He said I'd have to wait, to which I responded that that was precisely what I was doing - someone was helping me. He put me back on hold, and the helpful cop returned, informing me that the Complaint Report Number wasn't available yet, but to get a copy of the accident report, I'd have to go to the precinct, and to get a copy of the Complaint Report, I'd have to send away. Great! Though she wasn't as helpful as I would have liked, at least she gave me some useful information.
"Courtesy - Professionalism - Respect" reads the bottom of the incident information slip. If only they performed one of those right.
The only upshot of the whole situation was our chance to test the FCC's Basic 911 rules, which:
Require wireless carriers to transmit all 911 calls to a Public Safety Answering Point (PSAP), regardless of whether the caller subscribes to the carrier's service or not.
You can read more about this feature here. It worked, perfectly.
*The Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices, or MUTCD defines the standards used by road managers nationwide to install and maintain traffic control devices on all streets and highways. The MUTCD is published by the Federal Highway Administration (FHWA) under 23 Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Part 655, Subpart F.



